Beautiful

I havent been having the best days lately. The "beautiful" feeling within myself has been hideing. I can talk all day about how important it is to focus on the inside, that the outside is not as important...but it is hard for me. I have always had to work really hard to look the way that I want. It has always been a struggle for me and a challenge for me. Trust me this is not easy to admit, anyone that knows me well know that i am extremely stubborn! :)
So lately i have been struggling with having the time to work out and stay in shape, along with loseing some weight before my sister's wedding. I want to be the most beautiful MOH ever! lol
Life gets so busy and i am either too tired to get up early or too exhausted after a long day of work that i dont want to work out. Once i get motivated i can rock it out working out, i LOVE it. It is just getting to that point where i am motivated and confident again.

I have been stressing about clothes fitting and not being the size that i want to be. I look in the mirror and think, no one could ever love me like this. But then my roomates look at me and say, you look so pretty. Yet, who do i listen to? Lets just say i dont listen to them. I have spent a lot of time in prayer lately that God would just break me to know that he made me just the way that i am for a reason. I dont want what i have shared with any of my youth girls or friends to be a disappointment. I want to be the best example that i can be. So i have began today with a new thought, i am not going to give up but i am not going to stress.

There have been too many days where i have thrown clothes all over my room stressing about what to wear to church to look good. Nothing ever fits right or looks right. I have shape, i am not round or a stick, i am just random. So it frustrates me! Again, i have learned to tell myself "God made you just the way that you are, you are beautiful" I need step away and realize that i am beautiful in His eyes and know that is all that matters. I should work hard, but be proud of myself and uphold myself with confidence because i am child of God. I have to basically and simply, practice what i preach to my girls every time i talk to them.

All of this made me think of a song that i have been listening to at work called "Beautiful" by Kari Jobe. Here are some of the lyrics:

"Here before your altar, i am letting go of all ive been.
Of every motive, every burden, every thing thats of myself.
I just wanna wait on you my Lord,
I just wanna dwell on who You are.
Beautiful, Beautiful, I am lost for words to say.
Beautiful, Beautiful, Oh Lord Your beautiful to me."

God is beautiful, He put us on this earth for a reason and gave us life and breath. Why in the world would i be so selfish to not appreciate who i am. yes i am allowed to work out and change my appearance to be healthy, but i should be thankful for who i am.

If there are any girls out there reading this i would propose the same thing to you. Dont be like me, frustrated and stressed and unhappy about the way you look. Be thankful God gave you the heart that you have and use it to reach those around you. It is so worth it.
Not to mention the fact that no one can love us until we learn to first love ourselves...

Healer

So this morning at work I brought in my Kari Jobe cd and I am listening to "Healer", wow I love this song. If there is anyone out there that can listen to this song without worshipping hardcore or lifting a hand i salute you, for me it isnt possible! This song gives me an amazing worship time and a chance to cry out to Him. It hit me that we wake up every morning all with our own struggles, our own trials and our own frustrations. They are all different but the one thing that isnt different is that God loves us all and will never leave any of us. He is all that we need, even when that is hard for us.

Take some time to read these lyrics to the chorus and bridge. Cry to the God who gave you breath and who gave you life. So much we take for granted...He should be ALL we need.

I believe your my healer,
I believe You are all I need.
I believe your my portion,
I believe you are more than enough for me,
Jesus your all I need

Nothing is impossible for you,
Nothing is impossible.
Nothing is impossible for you,
You hold my world in your hands.

Rain!

So I woke up to the amazing sound of rain on my window!!! What an amazing sound! I have been waiting for the rain and for the 80 degree cool front to come in! It makes me happy! Makes me thankful for the day that God has given me!

The weekend was good and long! A lot going on but it was good. I actually had a few times where I got to sit down and do nothing!! That never happens! lol School has started for all of the youth, some are excited and some are definately not excited! I am so proud of them though. Our kids have been working so hard to bring their friends to church and be a good influence. I love it.

Last night we had bible study at Craig and Danielle's house. There were 31 youth that came! I was so impressed that so many of them came! We usually have quite a few but not usually that many. It was awesome! Craig had a couple of his friends come and share with the kids about reaching others. His story really touched my heart. It showed that just having a kindess toward others can make a huge difference in their lives. Just showing love and kindness could inevitable actually save their life! We should all try to step out of our comfort zones and reach out. I think that showing love is the #1 thing that we should do everyday. Show love to each other, and not just the people that we are friends with, but everyone.

Find someone today that you can show love too. Open a door, help carry something, give someone a compliment or maybe just a smile. You can literally change someones heart at that moment with just a hint of love.

I'm the MOH...

The MOH...thats me! I am officially the Maid of Honor in my sister's wedding! Jessie and Kyler have set a date for four months from now, December 31st, New Years Eve! I cant believe that is has come so fast! We dont have very long until my sister will be an old married women. Yes, as many have asked i have mixed feelings about the whole situation. I am the oldest sister, so by law i should be married first. Okay it isnt a law but it sounded good to me! lol Naw, yes i am ready to meet someone, or possibly the person i can spend the rest of my life with, but im not in a hurry. I am going to wait for God to bring me that special person that He has planned just for me. AND...i am BEYOND excited for my sister!!! She is an amazing, beautiful person that deserves the best and i know she has found it. Jessie and Kyler love each other unconditionally, you can tell by just the way they look at each other. If my sister is happy then i am happy!
Kyler, i am not sure why you seem to think it was time to come into our family, but i am glad that you and Jess found each other. I have told you multiple times while you are at our house to go home :) but i am definately glad you will be sticking around. you have made my sister so happy! thank you for that!

Dear Jessie,
You are amazing and beautiful! God has used you to have a huge impact on my life and thank you for that. As your older sister i do have to officially say "what were you thinking getting married before me" :) but you know i love you! i am so happy for you and i cant wait to help plan the wedding with you!
i love you!
Love, Rachel

For all of you readers out there, old and young, God has a plan. Even though sometimes we cant seem to see it or we are frustrated it isnt coming when we want it, He has a plan. Trust that God is going to put you in the right place at the right time. Love cannot be rushed and neither can life. Surrender to the fact that God knows what is best, even when its hard!

Basketball :)

I got to spend some time with my girls yesterday morning, Thursday, and watch them play basketball. The girls have had to make a certain amount of shots all summer in the gym at school. Yesterday was the last day to finish them, so i took a couple of our girls to go shoot hoops. I got the priviledge of getting their rebounds and chasing their balls around the court when they missed their shots. I might add, it was quite funny to have to chase them around, i felt like such a dork! The girls seemed to have a lot of time practicing and just hanging out. It was fun to have that relaxed time with them!

After basketball practice i took the girls to eat at Braums, that is what thy chose. I guess something about good ice cream :) We ate, i paid, they made a mess, i laughed, the end. ha ha
It was a lot of fun!

Then it was on to the park...oh good times. The pictures of this amazing event of randomness will be posted at a later date or you can check them out on my facebook. We went on the swings, climbed trees, made weird shadows, the girls had races up a concrete hill, spit to the fish (which the fish actually ate) and just laughed. I loved watching the girls get a kick out of the fish jumping in the air for their spit. Yes, completely gross but awesome. I am pretty sure there was a spitting contest after that, but i am not sure who won! You would have to ask them :)

After those amazing events it was on to walmart to make a few purchases, and laugh at random posters of Justin Beiber. Oh good times. These girls make my day!

All in all it was a blast to spend time with them and just hang out. These girls have been such a great example at church and at school. I am so proud of the people they have become and cant wait to see the amazing women they will become. I know they are going to do great and wonderful things for the Lord!

Dear Miranda, Madi, Ashley and Hilary,
I had a great day with you girls! It was SO fun and I havent laughed that hard in a long time.
Thanks for the ice cream that was splashed on my shirt :)
Love you girls!
-Rach

Wednesday Worship

I didnt have a chance to post on Wednesday night or Thursday morning but I wanted to put up a little update about youth on Wednesday. It was a blast and we had about 60 students! I am so excited that it is growing quickly! Our youth are doing a great job reaching out and being a good influence on others. I am so proud of them!
I had to help lead a couple marshmellow games, they were...hilarious.
The first one, one of our youth Madi had to drop a broom on plates laying on the edge of a table with marshmellows on plates. The marshmellow would fly through the air and she had to catch it a plastic cup. It was so fun to watch her! She actually caught 2 in her cup within a min. I think Craig our youth minister got the idea from some new show about win it in minutes or something.
The second game was catching marshmellows in the kids mouths. Two youth were chosen to stand at the front and throw marshmellows to their team on their side and whoever could have their teamates catch 5 in their mouths first won. It was so fun to watch them try to catch them!
These games are like ice breakers that allow some of the new kids to break out of their shells and get involved. Not too mention, they just make you laugh!!

My favorite part of the whole night was worship. my brother helps lead worship on Wednesday nights with some friends. They did a great job! They do a great job every week! I am so proud of them. Wednesday the worship was really an amazing time for me to just shut everything out and focus. We sang a song called "Open Skies" which i LOVE. The words are amazing! If i can find the lyrics I will post them. It was great to just stand in the back and watch the youth worship. One of my favorite things is to watch youth worship. Some of our younger girls have really stepped up to be an example. I teach 7th grade sunday school and a bunch of my girls went to super summer this year. They came back completely changed, its amazing. The talked about how easy it was to worship and lift their hands at super summer because everyone was doing it. At home in youth it is more intimidating because not many people do and they didnt want to feel as if they were being watched or glared at because of it. I told the girls that worship and lifting your hands is not about the people around you, it is about you and God. Their focus has completely changed and every week I get the priviledge of standing in the back watching my youth girls raise their hands, close their eyes and sing to their Lord. i love it.

I think this has become a challenge to me to step out of my comfort zone and be a leader myself. Sometimes it is intimidating to stand firm and do what you feel is right. I of all people should know because when i worship, i have a problem of not being able to stand still! lol
I love to tap my foot, sing loud, raise my hands and close my eyes. I dont do this because I want everyone to see me or anything, i do it because that is my time with my God that loves me unconditionally and i love it! I challenge us as adults to step out of our comfort zones and be willing to allow God to work in our worship and in our lives. No matter what it takes.

Thankful!

So my cousin officially made it through his surgery! He is so little and tired but doing well! I was so excited! My aunt Kaki sent me texts randomly to let me know how the procedure was going and it all went well. I am so thankful that God guided the hands of the doctors and that he is doing well! Thank you so much Lord for being there!!

God has been teaching me a HUGE lesson lately that i dont particularly like but i am learning. He is teaching me that i cant fix everything. Wow! What a new concept for me! :)
Anyone that knows me knows that i have a mom complex. I want to take care of things and fix things, even when it is not possible. That is something i have had to work extra hard on lately. God has a specific plan for everyone and when He is working in someone else's life i have to just wait and be patient. Patience...another concept i am not so good at! I am learning everyday that God has the ultimate plan for everyone and that i cant do anything but just pray and be there when needed. This is hard for me because i care so much, most of the time too much. That is my downfall, i care way too much. Seeing people that i care about and love hurt or struggle is difficult for me, like extra extra difficult. The past few days have been good for me though because i have learned that i have to lean on God and trust that He has things under control.

Please continue to say prayers for my cousin as he heals and gets his strength back. Please also keep your prayers with my friend Katrina who just got back from boot camp. Pray for strength and courage as she is adjusting to home.

Just a reminder, we should all be thankful for the lessons that God teaches us every day. No it is definately not easy at all, i know. Yet, we have to be willing to be still and listen and allow God to work. We have to let God work HIS way and in HIS time, not our own. The song that has really been worship for me today is "Beautiful" by Kari Jobe. Here are the lyrics of the chorus:

"Here before your altar, I am letting go of who I am. Of every motive, of every burden, everything thats of myself. I just want to wait on you my God, I just want to dwell on who You are. Beautiful, beautiful, I am lost for words to say. Beautiful, beautiful, oh Lord, Your beautiful to me."

Prayer

Found out that my cousin Anthony is having surgery right now to get a new valve placed in his heart. This is a very scary procedure and my family is really nervous about it. Please say a prayer that God will protect him, comfort his family and our family, and that he would guide the hands of the doctors working on him. I know that God knows what is best. That God has a plan and he will protect him, i am having faith. It is hard though, fear creaps in and tries to take over. It causes us to doubt, to stray from what God wants from us and to sometimes cause us to run. That is why God specifically says in Joshua 1:9 "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
I am going to admit right here and now that it is hard for me. It is not easy to just trust and have faith that things will be okay. I tend to do a good job about putting on a face and making everyone think I am alright. But I have struggles just as much as the next person. That is why I put this as my status on facebook earlier:
"Treat everyone better than they deserve, because everyone is fighting their own battles.' No one has it all together, no one is perfect, we all have struggles, including me. that is why because of Christ, we should become selfless and be a living example and support for the people around us."

Growing up in a christian home and knowing right from wrong is a good thing. Yet, i have learned that instead of becoming passionate I become judegmental. Judgemental of myself and judegmental of others. No one has it all together, it is easy to pretend that we do. I have had to learn that being concerned for others isnt the same as pointing out their faults. We as christians have to learn how to step out of the box of looking at everything that is done wrong, and looking at the things that are done right. But before we can even look at anyone else we have to look at ourselves. We have to see if we are being the kind of example for others that we need to be. Are we saying the right things, acting the right way, giving up enough?
I know for me it has just been an easy fly by and do what I need to do, not a passion. But that will change.

One of my friends just got back from boot camp working so hard. She gave up everything to follow what she felt God wanted her to do. What would this look like for me? What have I given up to follow what God wants for me? I dont know that right now I have an answer for that. It is hard to know that so many people will drop many things, or completely step out of their comfort zone to do what God wants for us and yet we complain that going to church on Sunday morning and Wednesday is too much for us. Or we complain about others around us who arent exactly the way we want them to be. Why dont we take some time to look at who we are.
Surrender does not by definition mean-give up what you want to give up. It means- give up EVERYTHING.

Lord,
I ask that you would open my heart. I ask that you would show me what I need to do to follow you. I ask that you would take away my selfishness and give me a selfless attitude. Please help me to have a passion and not just a routine of living for you. I ask that you would help us all to see how the faith that we have can make a difference. Give us the strength to step out of our comfort zones and be willing to be open and to be broken. Please be with my cousin Anthony that you would protect him and comfort him. Please guide the hands of the doctors that they would know exactly what to do. i love you with all that i am and all that i will ever be.
Amen

Welcome Home Katrina!

Spent some time in what seemed like the smallest airport in the entire world! My guess is it just felt like that because I was so ready for Katrina to walk through the gate! After 10 weeks of training, drills, hot temperatures she is finally home from Boot Camp. I am so glad! Seeing her walk through the gate and us trample her with hugs made the wait totally worth it. She looked so professional in her uniform and boots. I couldnt be more proud of her!
It was so good to finally see her again after so long and hear how she was doing! The stories she has told and will tell make it all worth it! I am so proud of her for working so hard and accomplishing something that most people couldnt do. I know I couldnt! The first time I got screamed at I would cry and go home! :) She had to go through some rough, hot and frustrating days but did it. She graduated and is ready for the next step she has to take. We are so proud of her for taking a chance and doing something that was out of her comfort zone. She was willing to take her time away from her family and friends to do what she felt God wanted her to do. I hope I can continue to take that same step of faith every single day in my walk with Christ.

Katrina, We have missed you so much while you have been gone and are so glad that you are home safe! God is going to use you in amazing ways! He has already shown you a strength that you werent sure that you had. I am so proud of you and cant wait to spend time with you hearing about all the tough times you had that in the end were a victory!
We love you! Welcome Home Army Girl!

Worship

I dont think there are any words that could describe the feeling you get in your heart when youth worship. Last night our youth band did a great job leading worship. A lot of our younger girls in the group had their hands raised. They have all talked so many times about how nervous they were to really let go and worship without worrying about the people around them and they finally did. I was so proud of them. Seeing youth worship is one of those unexplainable life changing moments for me. It is like a slap in the face when I am not worshiping the way that I need, it is a good example that we shouldnt be afraid to step out of our comfort zones a little, sometimes a lot. Wow, how someone so young can make a difference. Oh yeah they can. They think because they are young that no one watches them and they cant make an impact, but boy can they!
Worship is like a step of faith. Learning to let go and let God have a hold of your heart. It isnt about showing off or doing what everyone else is doing. Worship is about leading you to what God wants for you and listening for His voice. No matter how hard that can be sometimes.
I will pray that we would all become people of worship not just at church during the songs, but in our daily lives.

Today is the first day back to school for Tuttle, Bridge Creek and Blanchard schools! Take some time today to pray for those students. Pray that they would open their hearts to God and allow Him to work through them. Let them see the mission field they have for the next year of their lives. Pray they will have strength and courage to reach out to a lost and hopeless world.

Dear Lord,
I asked that you would please be with the students going back to school today. I pray that you would give them the words to say and the example they need in their actions. Give them strength and courage as they reach out to their lost friends and comfort those that need you. Please help them to realize this is the biggest mission field they have at this time and to take advantage of it! Comfort them and let them know even when they are being persecuted for being different that it is worth it. Those struggles are worth it because you love them and have so much more for them in the end.
In your name i pray,
AMEN

Grandpa's Visit

So our grandpa came for a few days to visit and will be leaving in the morning. He sang with dad on Sunday, they even planned to record some songs to make a cd. I think it is a great idea to make a cd because it is something that we could keep forever. For the last few days we have all been eating dinner as a family and playing games. Tonight we played cards for a little while with grandpa before he has to leave in the morning. It has been really good to see him, because with him living in Wisconsin we only see him during Christmas or very special events. I love seeing him. It also makes me miss my grandma a lot. I wish that she was here to hear grandpa and dad sing, to hear us sing as family, to hang out and talk, and play cards (she always won)! :)

My grandma was one of the most amazing people that I have ever known. I loved her so much and still do! It makes me happy to know that I will see her again someday! She is my hero and an amazing example! Grandpa reminds me of her so much. The way he laughs and the things that he says. I love it! I pray for him every day that he would continue to get better and stay healthy so that he will be around for a lot more years to come!

Life Changing

So I officially got into the Teacher Education Program, Monday, August 2nd. I am so excited that I finally was able to get everything done. I worked for hours in the library and in the education building typing and working through my folder and file box. Then I went over to the head of the education department in my shorts and tshirt. We talked for a while about my plans and then she interviewed me right then and there. No fancy clothes or anything! It was awesome! Then she said I was officially in the program and could enroll! I was so excited to finally be able to work on my upper level classes. Now I have a plan and should graduate next December! :)

It is Wednesday and I got my schedule today for classes that start in a couple weeks. Busy schedule of school and work, way to much to do! I am going to be exhausted, but it is totally worth it!
I am watching the movie "To Save A Life". Wow it is amazing. I dont think that I have ever seen a movie that touched my heart this much. One line that really got to me is when the new kid that started going to church said, "whats the point if it isnt changing your life?" What is the point of going to church if we arent going to live it? We need to be willing to reach out to others, especially the ones that dont feel they fit in and dont feel loved. It is so worth it!
Everyone should see this movie, I think it is really going to change lives!

Portfolio Time!

So after a lot of stress about the semester coming up I have finally figured out that I am going to be able to get admitted to the teacher ed program!! Yes it is going to take a lot of time and hard work but it will be worth it! I have been praying hard that God would open the doors and show me what I need to be doing and He did yesterday! I called the school, expecting to be disappointed at the fact that I would have to wait another semester to get admitted into the program, but was surprised! The head of the education department worked with me and told me everything that I need to do to get it all done. I have been nervous that I wouldnt be able to complete everything that I need to. My GPA has gone up due to my 3 A's and 1 B last semester! I worked so hard and it makes me so happy! I have a lot of work ahead of me but I know that God has me right here for a reason and I cant wait!
Please keep your prayers with me as I go through an interview process to get admitted!
Also pray that my schedule will work out for the best this semester, that I can take the classes I need, that the classes will be open, and that my job will also work out with my schedule!