Facing Fears

Lately I have been dealing with a lot of stress and fear about school. Trying to do projects and work on my portfolio is definately overwhelming. I have wanted to give up so many times and just say, nevermind I dont want to do it anymore, but I know that I have to. Being a teacher is something that I want to do with my life. I want to positively influence students lives with education and just with a positive attitude. So many kids and teens these days just need someone that is there to listen. I am going to be that person for my students. I cant wait to have my own classroom to teach and get to know my students. It is going to be a blast.
Along with my school fears, I have financial fears, relationship fears, a lot of fears that seem to sometimes consume me. Instead of allowing these fears to consume me I have to learn to allow Christ to consume me and give Him those fears and let Him take care of them. I try to do too many things myself instead of letting the God of this universe who knows EVERYTHING take care of me. Rediculous I know!
I read this verse the other day and I had to put it on here for all of you to read.
"Look at the nations and watch--and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told." Habakuk 1:5
God clearly is telling us here that he is going to do amazing things, things that we cannot even imagine. He tells us to specifically look at the nations and watch. To me, this doesnt mean to just sit from our comfortable pew and watch the nations, but to actually do something about it and watch how we can make a difference and watch how people's lives can be drastically changed. This would actually take a bit of courage, strength and confidence. Three things that I definately do not have a lot of.
Yesterday afternoon I got home from work and worked on some homework, then my friend Katrina came and told me we were going somewhere. I had no idea where we were going because she wouldnt tell me. When went to bricktown to an area by the Oklahoma River, where we rented two kayaks. I have never been kayakking in my life, i am terrified of water! I decided that instead of just sitting on the edge of the water and watch Katrina have all the fun I had to face my fear. I had to face my fear of water, mainly of falling in the water and drowning! I know, I had a life jacket on so not likely, but I was still scared! Part way through our adventure we were paddling under a huge bridge and i had to stop. I thought, why in the world am I always so afraid? The sun was bright in the sky and I thought about how God has always taken care of me, how He has always provided for me, yet I am still afraid and I still doubt. This may seem like such a small thing in life but to me it was huge. I left thinking how fun it was and thinking how stupid I was for being so afraid. Thank you Katrina for helping open my eyes and ears to what God was trying to tell me.
Katrina may not have known that the experience would help me, she didnt even know that I was afraid of water. Yet, she made me face my fears and do it anyway. I wonder why we arent able to do this on our own everyday? We walk by people, make eye contact with people, bump into people, sit by people in class, talking to people in the store, have people we text everyday--but we continue to ignore the fact that we have something to share with them. Why dont we? Because we are afraid. Fear can keep us from doing so many things. Fear has had a huge impact on my life, not just in little things but also in the big things. Do I think that I will automatically wake up tomorrow and never be afraid again because I realized this? No. But I have finally understand how important it is that we trust God and not allow doubt to keep us from being the people that we need to be. There are so many people out there that will never ever hear the name of Christ and will die wondering what if someone had just stopped long enough to say something. Thats us! We have to put our fear aside and actually say something.
God is so amazing and so beautiful. If you dont believe that then just sit outside tonight when the sun goes down and then let me know if you still feel the same. He has done so much for us. We should let go of our doubts and fears and give others the hope that we insist on taking for granted...